Friday, August 17

I'm Shutting Down the Blog

Because I'm out of business for 2007. Fluffy destroyed the first plant. She maimed the second, and I pulled it after that. Earlier this week, I killed the third and final plant. (I'd rather not say what happened, but if you're curious you can ask and I'll tell you. It's embarrassing.)

Failure is common in competitive pumpkin growing, as it is in all full-contact sports. Sure I'm bummed, but I've learned a lot. The blog will be back in January as I gear up for a successful 2008 season.

Until then, if you're out driving late one night, and you see any deer grazing by the side of the road... do me a favor if you would... swerve and plaster their guts all over the ditch, ok?

See you in 2008!

Wednesday, August 8

Who Turned Up the Heat!?!?

Geez, I spend a week in New England (motto: Georgia Summer Weather Sucks) and it's like being hit with a hammer when we step off the airplane here. What did y'all do while I was gone?

The irrigation system blew out at some point. If it had ruptured a few inches down, the pumpkin plant would have been washed away when it happened. As it is, everything was bone dry and the plant hasn't grown much, but it's in decent shape.

It's a wonder that any plant can live in this dadgum heat.

Friday, August 3

I'm leaving town for a week, so here's a quick update:

The new plant transplanted well, and I've got the irrigation system turned on again. I think vine borer season is probably over, so come on and get busy growing, new plant!

I've got a new name for the pumpkin if I get another this year (the name Magnolia is shot now). I'll explain why this is such an excellent name when we get back from Boston. But here's a hint:












(And Andy, I've been enjoying your comments - thanks!)

Thursday, August 2

Fluffy Doesn't Like Rotten Eggs
So that's something else to spray around the pumpkin plant. It's so easy a child can make it (mine did):

1. Blend one egg in a can of water
2. Let it sit for 24 hours
3. Spray on and near deer-friendly plants when you don't want those hateful forlorn nasty nasty creatures destroying everything you've worked so hard to achieve... (sorry I'm rambling again)




Of course, it you wait for three days instead of one to spray the stuff, well that's your own problem!

Wednesday, August 1

She's my Daughter, But...

I do wish I knew who the mother was!

This is my third and final attempt of the year. I moved her to the garden tonight. She could be from a 1,000 pound pumpkin with a decent lineage, or she could be a goof-ball seed left over from 2001. I'm just not sure.




This is the plant I pulled to make way for the new gal. She had pretty good genes, and had more or less recovered from the Fluffy rampage, but she just wasn't right.

Saturday, July 28


I may not be able to grow pumpkins, but...

I Think I've Got a Handle Growing Tomatoes

Thursday, July 26

At Night, I Lie Awake

During the day, also.

Is this all there is to achieve in life? Is the Perfect Pumpkin the grandest quest of all?

But I shake the crazy thoughts aside.

Of course it is.

I shall neither slumber nor sleep. I will overcome!

Wednesday, July 25

The New Vine is Growing Again

It looks awkward, but at least it has recovered. Meanwhile, the latest new plant has sprouted and its 1st two leaves look great.

Advantages of the current plant:
- I know the genetics and they are pretty good.
- It has a 3 week head start over the newest plant

Advantages of the seeding
- It hasn't been torn up by deer
- It hasn't had to deal with a rough transplanting
- But it's started VERY late in the season, and I don't actually know which pumpkin it's from.

I think I'll have to choose in about a week.





The first of the Fluffy deterrents is: deodorant soap. If she is a normal deer, that is. I think she may be a freaky evil deer, but hey maybe she's just a normal deer after all.

Sorry, I got off topic. Fluffy does that to me. Anyway, that fence won't stop her for a minute if she really wants in, but I'm hoping between the fence and the soap she'll turn the other way and destroy the rest of my plants instead of the pumpkin.

Monday, July 23

Pumpkin Flax Crunch:
The Taste That's Sweeping the Nation!


I told you this was gonna be big!

"It gives me the strength of 1000 men!" says one highly coerced pumpkinflax admirer.

What exactly does that mean - even I have to wonder.

"Wait until 5:00 pm, let's see how regular it makes me" says another.

Great, I'll set my watch. Can't wait!





Sunday, July 22

Maybe I'm a Pessimist

I don't mean to be... but I see a pattern here. First, I was quite worried the first plant would never set a pumpkin. Then before long I had three.

Now, the backup plant has a new vine growing out of its splinters which I can train to be a new main vine.

Also, Doug Adams, an experienced grower here in Georgia, writes: "In 2005 I planted a seed on July 23rd and got a 400 lb. one in Oct. So there is still time."

So today I'll turn my attention to stopping the attacks of Fluffy the Pumpkin Slayer. She must be stopped!

Saturday, July 21

Conceding Defeat

Sometime Thursday, Fluffy returned and ate the backup plant.

I've taken this pretty hard, because this time I think s'e ended my season. I don't know, the plant may be trying to sprout a new main vine, so maybe all is not lost.

I've started yet another plant, but I don't think there's enough summer left to get a pumpkin from it. It's an experimental plant I'll use to test various Fluffy Retardants with.

How do I know it was Fluffy and not other critters? Well, first I don't have other critters. Second, this time there is a line of deer tracks leading *directly* to the desecrated plant.

But mostly, I have heard from an esteemed pumpkin grower that, "Pumpkins are to deer like peanuts are to bridge players." They start munching and just can't stop.

On Monday I'll post a picture of the plant and its new vine and show off my first Fluffy Retardants.

Wednesday, July 18

We Here at the Pumpkin Blog...

... are VERY CAREFUL with our commercial endorsements.

Which is why we're pleased to bring you our first tonight! (Not counting last year's Blue Moon Pumpkin ale.)

It's nutritious and delicious!!! (Actually I haven't tried it yet and everyone else in the family refuses to try it, but that's not important right now...)



Enough with the introductions - let's have a round of applause for that lip-smacking Flax Plus Pumpkin Rasin Crunch.















Princess Fairies know to ask for it by name!

(It keeps their wings shiny.)

(The claims made herein have not been endorsed by the FDA, before you ask.)













It's organic, so you can feel good about forcing it on your entire family. It's loaded with flax, to keep you regular.

And it's got the extra goodness of pumpkin in every bite, which is why we fell in love with it in the first place. Get yours today!!!

Monday, July 16

Meanwhile, Back in the Compost Pit

Plant Magnolia is furious with this turn of events. Despite the vine borers inside her, despite the fact she had no pumpkins and no growing tips, her male flowers are still blooming just in case anybody nearby needs pollinating.

(Backup plant continues to just sit there and acclimate to our cloudy July weather.)

Friday, July 13

My Biological Clock is Ticking

I'm not a young man any more. But that's not important right now. What's important is that it's mid-July and the backup plant only has four leaves on it.

It's actually looking pretty decent now, but it's still sort of sitting there dealing with the transplanting and getting used to things.

Time to get a move-on, girl!

Thursday, July 12

The Plant Pre-Fluffy














The plant after 15 minutes of pulling up vines.

Thanks for the support and compassion you all continue to show me. In lieu of flowers, the bereaved request you send contributions to the Christian Deer Hunter's Association www.christiandeerhunters.org/ (There really is such a group; I'm not making that up.)

Monday, July 9

A Time of Transition

I'd like to thank my friends who are helping me through these tough times. Thank you Johnny, Andy, Jack, Tom, Yannick, etc. Especially I'd like to thank my special friends Johny Walker and Jack Daniels, I'm not certain I could carry on without you.

The backup looks better today, but no matter what happens, it's genetics are inferior and I'll always wonder, "what could have been?"

Next blog: a chance meeting in the urinal helps form a plan to fight back against Fluffy The Pumpkin Slayer.

Sunday, July 8

Oh Magnolia, We Hardly Knew You!

Fluffy the Deer likes pumpkins. Nobody told me that. How come nobody told me that? I knew she might like PUMPKIN LEAVES - but I never heard she might like pumpkins.







Magnolia 2 agreed with Fluffy's palate also.


I've ripped out the vine and planted the backup. It'll probably be the end of the week before I post again. The backup doesn't look so great, and I think I need some quiet time alone to mourn...

Tuesday, July 3

Day 5 and All is Well

Magnolia certainly is short and plump compared to Bessie... not that there is anything wrong with that. I'll be out of town until Saturday so she'll have to carry on without me. That fancy irrigation system out there ought to keep her happy.

A third pumpkin bloomed yesterday, and I didn't even know it was there. This one is on a side vine, so it may be a keeper if it does well. It's definite proof this plant is stronger than last year's plant was!

Friday, June 29

Day 3 and All is Well

Magnolia has a baby sister now. I'm not going to name it, because one or the other will be removed next Saturday. May the best pumpkin win!

Baseball sized 48 hours after pollinating. Magnolia sure isn't wasting any time. I think she's burst out of the gate much faster than Bessie, but it's a long season.





Hillary the Deer is back. Here's her diet: leaves off the cherry tree, leaves off the rose, leaves off the huckleberry. Hillary seems to prefer leaves. But so far, she's not interested in pumpkin leaves. I'm still looking for a manual on how to gut and clean a deer.

Thursday, June 28


Welcome Magnolia!

For unto us a daughter is born,
Unto us a daughter is given.
And suddenly there was a great multitude rejoicing!
And her name shall be called:
Magnolia!

Wednesday, June 27


National Pollination Day!

Ahh, the grandest holiday of them all! Especially after the uncertainty, the fear the entire event might be canceled this year.

This is the bloom in the pre-dawn hours, waiting to open. (Pollinators set their alarm clocks early on National Pollination Day.)









Now she's open! That white thing is a thermometer - it's gonna be a scorcher.












Lilly admires the male blossoms before we gather the pollen.












Can you see the pollen (it looks like yellow dust) after the petals have been removed?












What a fine-looking 5 lobed flower. 5 lobes, which means there are 10 stalks in there which will make seeds, are slightly preferred over 4 lobed flowers. 5 lobes occur about 50% of the time, maybe a little less.

Get out you stupid bees - that's my job today!







I just use the male flower like a paintbrush to distribute pollen.











Now we'll just hope for the best, it might take 48 hours to know for sure it worked. I'm feeling pretty good about this one though. The milk jugs are full of ice to try to keep things cool.





Tuesday, June 26

I'm Going To Be a Father

Thursday morning looks to be the day. Like all expectant parents, I better make a list or I'll forget something important!

- build a crib
- freeze up some blocks of ice
- set up the tarp
- prepare some baby food (this baby should love pureed Alaskan anchovies)
- call in sick for work
- write a birth announcement

So much to do in the next 2 days!!!

Sunday, June 24

Too Much Fertilizer

Preemie 3 gave it up today and turned yellow. The folks at bigpumpkins.com think I may have fertilized too much, or maybe the heat is doing the damage.

I started a backup seed yesterday. I think it might be too late for that. Then again, if I remember correctly, Doug Adam's Georgia record pumpkin was started on June 23rd. That could be a good sign!








So I've shaded Preemie 4 with a tarp and quit fertilizing. Notice the green stripes and spots on her? I have no idea what that means. Probably too much fertilizer. Darn it.

I will say that each Preemie makes it further than the one before. Preemie 4's flower is already bigger than the fruit, which I think is a good sign.

Friday, June 22


Preemie 3

You hold my summer in your hands.

Wait a minute... do pumpkins have hands? Anyway, yesterday morning I thought she was fading like the others. Then last night I thought she looked better. I'm going to run out of chances before too long.

There is a Premie 4 on a side vine, and Premie 5 even further out than Premie 3. But if Preemie 3 can't make it, I guess something is wrong that isn't going to get better.

I wonder if there's time to start over? I'll wait a week on Premie 5 before I do that. And the kid in this picture looks pretty healthy. I'll know her fate for sure tomorrow or Sunday.

Wednesday, June 20

The Joys of Fish Fertilizer

Wow, it's come all the way from Alaska! But how can it be "deodorized fish emulsion"? The stuff smells like every anchovy in the ocean gathered up in Alaska for the international anchovy convention.













The flies and wasps get excited when I spray it on the plant. I will point out it looks better than it smells.

But if it grows bigger pumpkins - and it is supposed to do that - it's a small price to pay!

Tuesday, June 19

Random Thoughts

I'm nervous. Preemie 2 has given up now. The third baby pumpkin looks good, and should bloom in about 5 days if all goes well.

But what if Preemie 3 fails too? It's within a couple of feet of being as far out the vine as Bessie was - about 20 feet. I'm running out of real estate!

----

The cats have started spending a lot of time outdoors. I think their driven by the Hunter's Instinct to bag a few of those elusive Alaskan anchovies.

----

Hey wait! Where's my blog about the Anchovies? Gone? I'll get that up on the blog tomorrow.

----

Baylor's Tree and Shrub systemic insecticide has changed my life. I CANNOT BELIEVE that stuff isn't labeled for vine borer treatment.

Saturday, June 16

I'm Getting Impatient for the Main Show to Start!

The vine is looking pretty good. I guess that's about on par with where we were last year. There has been no sign of a vine borer since I treated the other mini-pumpkin plants. The borers can't give up this easily, can they?










Preemie 2 is looking pretty good. Preemie 1 did not survive. Preemie 3 will be about as far out the vine as Bessie was. I'd still like to grow 2 pumpkins off this plant if the plant is strong enough.

Friday, June 15

Tonight, a Shout-Out!

To my pumpkin-growing-buddy Lee, an excellent grower from South Georgia. Lee offered me a pair of prime seeds and I'm really pleased to have them!








It turns out I won't need them until next season (I hope I hope I hope). But no question, here's the seed for 2008. It's from a 1,112 pound pumpkin from Jeff Holland, a well-known grower, and both parents were way over 1,000 pounds too! Oh man that's gonna be sweet!

Thanks again Lee- grow 'em big!!!

Monday, June 11

It's not quite Kudzu...

But that's a solid foot of growth today. It's sort of hard to tell from the picture, but I turned the tape measure upright and pulled the tape out a foot.

Today was cloudy all day, maybe I'll try it again to compare on a pright sunny day. Then again, my uncle Roy says plants grow their best on cloudy days, and he should know.

Sunday, June 10

Time for an Experiment

The plant is growing well. The misting and watering system fires for a few minutes every hour during the afternoon. And amazingly, that's legal - there are no watering restrictions on a vegetable garden.

So I've laid down the tape measure and we'll record how much the vine grows in 24 hours.

Premie II has shown up now. If I can' I will probably pollinate at least two pumpkins, and try to hedge my bets against a season-ending disaster. But I've never successfully pollinated more than one fruit on a vine before - it takes a really healthy vine to do that I think.

Thursday, June 7

For Unto Us a Child Is Given!


Ok, that might be a bit premature.

This first fruit probably won't be strong enough to survive to blooming, and if it does I might cull it anyway.

So I'll name her Preemie 1 for now.

Preemie 1 is squat and round, as opposed to the long and lean Bessie. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But her short little stem... that thing better start growing longer, or this is going to be another issue before long.

Wednesday, June 6

Either They Go, or I Go!

I had a minature pumpkin vine doing great, it already had five baby pumpkins on it. But it was sitting exactly where the big plant wanted to put down some roots. So with a sigh, out came the minature plant.


Huh? What's this?!

Can there already be squash vine borers ripping up my vines???








The minature plants didn't get treated with insecticide in the pre-season like the main plant did. I doused all the plants this evening. Looks like the war has begun!

Tuesday, June 5

She's got some pretty nice leaves on her! It's time to get some fish fertilizer sprayed on them. The plant will absorb the fertilizer directly though the leaves, very efficient. Very smelly too. But that's a blog for another day...

Monday, June 4


The vine has been moved

Amd it's dead-center now.

But man, it doesn't look good does it? The posts you see are trying to hold up the leaves. The plant isn't wilting, it's just fussy after the big rearranging. It's interesting that the vine never even thought about cracking during all that.







Wow, what a difference a day makes! The leaves all perked back up, and we're ready for some serioous growing!

Sunday, June 3


Well, the vine missed the path by a bit. I'll start moving it bit by bit and see if it can be done without snapping it. Next year I might start the seed in a pot and avoid this altogether.