And it was a fine Halloween!

I washed her out with the hose (the pumpkin I mean) before the party. She's turning to jelly, but still doesn't smell too much...

... which is a good thing considering how popular she was!

Happy Carver Beth (I mean, really, really Happy Carver Beth) poses with her work. (What exactly was in those Vampire's Blood shots anyway???)

Carving Pictures

Beth sketches the design...










... and we tape it to the pumpkin.










Notice how she's not "Bessie" any longer? It's just "the pumpkin".










Carving continues through the early afternoon.

Despite the smell.

Pumpkin Pie...

Every day -- For the next 17 months.








As we cut her open from the back -

Ouch, is that liquid nastiness about to pour out?







Yep, that's liquid nastiness.

It didn't smell so awful, but still way high on the nasty-meter.

Am I sad to see Bessie go?

No, I really have no remorse. When it's your time, there's not much you can do, and Bessie is ready to meet her destiny. She's lived her life waiting for this next week.

But I'll always remember her fondly... the first time is always special!


For old time's sake... a baby picture... she was so sweet and angelic when she was little!

Here's to you, Mr. Humongous Pumpkin Grower Guy!

Budweiser actually made a commercial about the pumpkins we all love, and the men who grow them. You can listen to this classic here:

http://www.husnain.com/budlight/genius/Bud%20Light%20-%20Real%20Men%20of%20Genius%20-%20Mr.%20Humongous%20Pumpkin%20Grower%20Guy.mp3

And also a big thank-you to Bessie's new professional-artist-turned-carver, Beth! Carving is this Friday so we'll have some pictures up soon.

Bessie is Getting Old.

I think she turned 4 months old today - that's about 13 in dog years. That's a picture of her rotten spot and the Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale she's so fond of these days.









Pictures of Erin, Elana, and Leah, posing with the neighbor's dog.

Saturday, October 28th - Carving Day

Here are some example carvings I can dream about. Being a little more realistic, using one of those carving templates is probably the way to go. Anyway, check out these pictures!

Moving Day was a success!

A big thanks to Bill, Andy, Mads, Andrew, Tom, and the Blue Moon Brewing Co. - the makers of Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale!





Off she goes! Andrew pushes from behind, while Tom and Andy try to avoid being "squashed".








Andrew managed not to be "gourd", but this is exhausting work! (Actually it was amazingly easy.)








Tom prepares the scales for the big moment, and...









Andy shows off his pumkpin-movin' style.

The crucial moment is here! What will the scale reveal???











350 Pounds!

I'm crushed. That is truly lame.

Sure, Bessie has been dehydrating in the yard for the last 2 months. And she's been leaking fluid out of a rotten place on her bottom.

But this cannot be happening...




Whew! Bessie wasn't on the scale right! A careful remeasurement says:

All 447 pounds of Bessie are now renamed as the

447 Hatcher '06




That's Eli and Erin posing above.

Bessie's next big day is Sunday, October 29th - Carving Day.

(Example carvings and other pictures will be posted Tuesday.)

October 15th - Moving Day

Ok, it's time to finally move Bessie, and weigh what's left of her. Maybe we'll start the carving if things get crazy. There will surely be beer involved, and food too.

If you want to help or just hang out, please let me know or just show up. I mean, if you're bothering to read my blog, you're welcome!

The AJC (the Atlanta newpaper) is going to come do a story on Bessie when she gets carved.

In The Beginning...

The year was 1903, and the world was enthralled with the St. Louis World Fair. To be specific, William Warnock had brought a gargantuan 403 pound pumpkin to the fair, to the amazement of all who saw it.

That was a world record that would stand for 75 years.

For 75 years, the world lay waiting...... for Howard Dill. Using seeds from descendents of Warnock's amazing fruit, Howard Dill created a new breed of pumpkins, the Atlantic Giant. From 1979 until 1984, Dill broke the world record annually, and was recognized in the Guinness Book of World Records in 1981 for growing a 493.5 pound monster.

From those humble beginnings, the sport of Competitive Pumpkin Growing erupted!

Since 1992, the world record has gone from 827 to 1469 pounds. Bessie, a mere child grown in a hostile environment in an unfavorable climate from a nondescript seed, beat that Guinness record set in 1981.

Did I mention that the first 1000 pound pumpkin, grown in 1996, earned $50,000 for its owner?

There are few things which motivate men more than breaking barriers which other men thought were impossible. The first four minute mile. Putting a man on the moon. Babe Ruth's 60 home runs. The quest for the One Ton Pumpkin is next - don't be left behind!

A fan writes: “wow this is the kind of blog that makes an international hit because everyone just starts reading it…”

Thanks Nick! Now I just need some good Legal Representation to help me trademark the "Pumpkin Grower Survivor" series before those greedy retards at Fox beat me to it!

(Bessie overcame her rot with twice-daily bleach baths. We'll think about moving, weighing, and carving her the 1st of October.)

"That pumpkin is the talk of the neighborhood."


... is that good or bad, I wonder?

Countdown to Halloween: Trauma Time

The vines are gone, the pumpkin is picked. Even I'll admit a growing pumpkin is a lot more interesting than a ripe pumpkin just laying around taking up space.

But that's rot in the stem. And see the hole to the left? Is Bessie about to be compost?






There were two borers in the stem. All weekend I've slowly cut off rot until I'm about out of stem. The white stuff is caulk, where I kept trying to plug the hole. And the caulk just keeps oozing right back out. Georgia humidity doesn't help.









56 days until halloween? Gulp.

Don't tell the Pharmacist's Association I'm misusing the "Oral Use Only" syringes. I'm injecting a combination of fungicide and insectice into the hole.

August 17th - 473 pounds

The pumpkin has pretty much stopped growing, and the tarp is off.

Today's FYI (or in Ciena-speak: "Did You Know?")

The Georgia pumpkin record is 698 pounds.

The world record, from Pennsylvania I think, is 1469 pounds. The serious growing all takes place up north, where the days are much longer during the summer months.

My neighbor Bob came over and saw the pumpkin yesterday.

"Oh my god!!!" he said.

For a moment I thought I had a convert!

But after thinking about it, I'm pretty sure it was just a figure of speech.

Bessie has pretty much stopped growing. Latest estimate is 460 pounds. I'll make a final measurement next Sunday, then remove the tarp and do some tricks to help make her as pretty an orange as possible.

One more picture - try to compare her to the milk jugs.

We've located two 400 pound scales to weigh her with this fall. Thanks Tom!!! The theory is we will cover the scales with a piece of plywood and then put the pumpkin on top, since she's too heavy for either scale by itself.

August 8th - Day 46 - 441 pounds

This is the largest pumpkin ever grown in Georgia 4H contest - 353 pounds. If that one weighs 353 pounds, surely Bessie is worth 441 pounds?

Only two people think Bessie is really that heavy - Miss Billie, and Miss Millie. Neither of these fine ladies has offered to help move and weigh her, though :(

Hey Jeff Foxworthy:

"You might be a redneck if...
You have ever left grubs out in the sun to dry."

Man I hate those things. It's official; nobody thinks Bessie weighs 406 pounds by looking at her picture. Me included. We'll see when she finally gets on a real scale.

August 3rd - Day 41

Due to overwhelming demand, it's time for new pictures. My conservative weight estimate (subtracting 5%) is 406 pounds.





She's getting nice and orange, but that also means the growth is about over. I'm about to quit measuring every day, and blog updates will be infrequent until harvest and carving time.


Is that thing really 400 pounds? It seems like I could roll it to the front yard myself. I guess we'll find out in a month or two...

"All last week while I was honeymooning in Paris, all I could think about was, How is the Pumpkin doing?" - Yannick.

I salute your priorities Yannick - that's the kind of spirit that makes America great!

The final goal of the season will be 400 pounds. The conservative estimate is 381 this morning, but she's really slowing down now.

GOT HER!

That's maybe the most elusive Squash Borer moth in history. Certainly one of the most prolific. She's single-handedly torn up my vines and made me start looking ahead to next year.

She's deader than she looks - thanks to a nice swing from her new friend, the Venus and Serena Power V2.5 Raquet.




Four hours later. Still dead.

Something has been pecking on Bessie - a Blue Jay, I think. If I find it, I will kill it, no hesitations, no regrets.

If there's going to be another big growth day, it will be today after our first real rain in two weeks.







I cleaned up some and found an interloper hiding under the rosemary. Or maybe it's an interlouper?

July 28 - day 35

The Word is spreading, and pilgrims have travelled from as far away as Roswell to see the Giant Mutant Pumpkin. "Oh yes, that looks like 350 pounds!" says Billie (hear that, Alan?)



"You're going to name your firstborn son Ichabod? Thank goodness for vasectomies" says my wife. I hate to lump the woman I love in the same category as Jeff Foxworthy, but clearly I have my work cut out for me being a Pumpkin Prophet in this barren land.

July 27 - Day 34

So I have this friend, I'll call him "Alan" since that's his name. Anyway, "Alan" came over last night and would not be convinced that Bessie might actually weigh 350 pounds. I don't understand Alan. How can he stand in the presence of my Only Begotten Pumpkin and not be overwelmed by her glory?

Unclean though "Alan" might be, he has a point. Bessie is short, taking after my Pumpkin Helpers. I have to believe she is going to weigh less than the theoretical estimate. (Based on hundreds of pumpkins and a lot of math though that may be, Alan.)

So I'm subtracting 5 percent, and estimating Bessie at 326.9 pounds tonight, instead of 344.1.

(PS. Don't take it too harshly Alan, but if I do ever have a son, I think I now need to name him something besides Alan. Maybe Ichabod???)

July 25 - Day 32

This 15 pounds a day can't last much longer, but Bessie measures 332 pounds today. Actually she's sort of a pain to measure now, because her circumference is over nine and a half feet - longer than my measuring tape.

Jeff Foxworthy writes:
"You might be a redneck if...
... You've ever had your picture taken with a giant vegtable."

Now that's really funny - not. Looks like a great comedian in his prime has gone to seed. I earnestly hope that Jeff might live to regret that comment and instead devote himself to the glory of growing giant pumkins.

July 23rd - Day 30

Bessie has "squashed" the 300 pound mark; the estimate today is 302. Squashed? Get it? Ha! I love pumpkin humor!

See, all it really looks like is a bigger pumpkin, not terribly exciting...