In the Beginning...

God created Norway.

One does not question the Almightly lightly, but still, one can't help but wonder if this was the best of moves.

I mean, all the people do there is Alpine ski. And then in the off-season, they fish. But then somebody hatched a brilliant plan:

"Americans are stupid. Let's start selling them our excess seaweed and claim it is miracle food loved by Giant Pumpkins!"

And like millions of other stupid American pumpkin growers, I've fallen for it!

Then on the other hand consider Alaska. It is very similar to Norway, except that contrary to popular belief there are virtually no mountains, so the locals can't even Alpine ski.

So instead, you guessed it, they pulverize fish scraps and once again sell it to gullible pumpkin growers.

Put the seaweed and the fish fertilizer together and I don't know how well the plant really likes it but the flies think it smells great and the wife makes me sleep in the back bedroom. (Maybe I should move to Norway???)