"All last week while I was honeymooning in Paris, all I could think about was, How is the Pumpkin doing?" - Yannick.

I salute your priorities Yannick - that's the kind of spirit that makes America great!

The final goal of the season will be 400 pounds. The conservative estimate is 381 this morning, but she's really slowing down now.

GOT HER!

That's maybe the most elusive Squash Borer moth in history. Certainly one of the most prolific. She's single-handedly torn up my vines and made me start looking ahead to next year.

She's deader than she looks - thanks to a nice swing from her new friend, the Venus and Serena Power V2.5 Raquet.




Four hours later. Still dead.

Something has been pecking on Bessie - a Blue Jay, I think. If I find it, I will kill it, no hesitations, no regrets.

If there's going to be another big growth day, it will be today after our first real rain in two weeks.







I cleaned up some and found an interloper hiding under the rosemary. Or maybe it's an interlouper?

July 28 - day 35

The Word is spreading, and pilgrims have travelled from as far away as Roswell to see the Giant Mutant Pumpkin. "Oh yes, that looks like 350 pounds!" says Billie (hear that, Alan?)



"You're going to name your firstborn son Ichabod? Thank goodness for vasectomies" says my wife. I hate to lump the woman I love in the same category as Jeff Foxworthy, but clearly I have my work cut out for me being a Pumpkin Prophet in this barren land.

July 27 - Day 34

So I have this friend, I'll call him "Alan" since that's his name. Anyway, "Alan" came over last night and would not be convinced that Bessie might actually weigh 350 pounds. I don't understand Alan. How can he stand in the presence of my Only Begotten Pumpkin and not be overwelmed by her glory?

Unclean though "Alan" might be, he has a point. Bessie is short, taking after my Pumpkin Helpers. I have to believe she is going to weigh less than the theoretical estimate. (Based on hundreds of pumpkins and a lot of math though that may be, Alan.)

So I'm subtracting 5 percent, and estimating Bessie at 326.9 pounds tonight, instead of 344.1.

(PS. Don't take it too harshly Alan, but if I do ever have a son, I think I now need to name him something besides Alan. Maybe Ichabod???)

July 25 - Day 32

This 15 pounds a day can't last much longer, but Bessie measures 332 pounds today. Actually she's sort of a pain to measure now, because her circumference is over nine and a half feet - longer than my measuring tape.

Jeff Foxworthy writes:
"You might be a redneck if...
... You've ever had your picture taken with a giant vegtable."

Now that's really funny - not. Looks like a great comedian in his prime has gone to seed. I earnestly hope that Jeff might live to regret that comment and instead devote himself to the glory of growing giant pumkins.

July 23rd - Day 30

Bessie has "squashed" the 300 pound mark; the estimate today is 302. Squashed? Get it? Ha! I love pumpkin humor!

See, all it really looks like is a bigger pumpkin, not terribly exciting...

July 19th - Bessie Takes a Bath

Bessie now is 241 pounds of pumpkin. That's a whole lotta girl to love. But is that powdery mildew on the leaves? It looks like it to me, white powdery stuff. That is very bad news if you are a pumpkin plant.


The bath water is one part fungicide, one part insecticide, two parts fertilizer.

It may not get the vine borers, but it sure knocked out the swarms of mosquitoes!

July 18 - Day 25

Bessie has gracefully eased over the 200 pound mark. How is this possible? Well, remember she's growing while you're sleeping.

And maybe "graceful" isn't a good way to describe a Giant Mutant Pumpkin. In any case, folks keep asking how I get her on the scales each night. I actually use a rope I made into a measuring tape to take three measurments of her. Then, there's a spreadsheet based on hundreds of other pumpkins which estimates her weight.

One of my Pumpkin Helpers, Erin, decided the measuring rope looks like a jump rope - which it does - and used it to knock out half of one of her front permanent teeth on Saturday. I'll try to get Erin to pose for a picture with the rope, her braces, and the gap in her smile, but I bet she won't do it.

July 15 - Day 21

There are several rules for taking pictures of pumpkins (all of which I have made up). First, wearing orange makes you more photogenic. Or at least you blend in with the pumpkin. Next, always stand behind the pumpkin, not in front. That makes the pumpkin look a lot bigger.

Bessie begins her third week with us weighing a healthy 148 pounds.

The last picture of the plant was a little lame, so here's an arial veiw. Wow, climbing trees sure is tougher than it was when I was a kid. I guess that's not very relevant at the moment, since I just took the picture from an upstairs window.

All of the ends of the vines have been clipped off now to keep the plant from growing any bigger.

Bessie is hiding under the leaves to keep cool back where that bit of blue tarp is.

The sport of competitive pumpkin growing is intense. It's action-packed, non-stop drama that pits neighbor against neighbor, man against wife, brother against sister. In other words, this is the perfect pastime for the people of Atlanta! ALTA cannot hold a candle in comparison.

Bessie has been gaining as average of 16 pounds a day - tonight's weigh-in was 132 pounds. I'll take a new picture tomorrow night. But to be honest, all it will be is a picture of a slightly larger pumpkin...

I toss in my bed late at night as I ponder deep questions. I am a troubled man. Why? Over 500,000 people live in Gwinnett county - and I doubt that a single one of them is growing a greater pumpkin than I am.

My heart cries out to these lost souls! We do NOT need 4 more lanes on Buford Highway; we need a community composting program, like saner communities 5% of our size.

I believe I am being called to take this message to the masses: people, pull up your tomatoes! Roto-till your bermuda! The age of the giant, mutant pumpkin is at hand!!!

July 11 - Day 17

I guess I owe Ms. Pumpkin an apology. Early in the season I complained the tomatoes were growing faster than the pumpkins. Well, I don't have any 85 pound tomatoes, so clearly the pumpkin is now growing faster.

I know several people are fond of the Coke can in the pictures, but I'm thinking I need to replace it with a 2 liter bottle!

July 8th - Day 15
Ugh. I cut off a dead leaf earlier this week. I saw the stem was full of water - not good, looked like a place for rot to start. Then I looked closer - and saw the grub floating in the water. Today was another round of killing vine borers.



Thanks for the kind words, Goran and Bryan. Here is what the patch looks like now. The pumpkin should be over 50 pounds today - I'll post the next picture of it on Monday.

July 6 - Day 13

The pumpkin is packing on the pounds. In the last 24 hours her circumference grew from 37" to 44", and her weight increased from 17 to 28 pounds.

I've got a big problem with the pumpkin growing on top of the vine. That's got to be fixed gently, without breaking the stem of the pumpkin. The female bloom from July 4th failed to set I think, so there's still only the single pumpkin on the vine.

I probably won't post a new picture until day 20.

July 4th - Day 11

She's really starting to grow fast. Estimated weight is 17 pounds.

It is said the 2nd 500 pounds are much harder than the first, but a 30 inch circumference at day 10 is VERY respectable!